My attempt to wear my heart on my sleave.

The other night we Hope and I were coming home from hanging out with some friends. I don't know how to begin. You could tell that the people we hung out with have been friends sense they were little kids. They were talking about their siblings and crazy things they have done to each other. To say the very least it hurts. It hurts every time I am around that. That sounds so selfish. I guess its because we have never had that. Our family has had to say good-bye to the people we love too early. We have had to say good-bye to friends and there is only the smallest chance we will ever see them again. I think what hurts the most is not knowing if they care. When I told my friends I was moving, there didn't seem to be a reaction. That killed me. That was the place that I was born in one way (Dec. 9, 2004) and I grew up in almost every way. I guess I kind of felt stabbed in the back. I told Hope I don't know why I care so much if they remember me. She talked to me and this is what I learned: A person needs to know they made an impact. Its not about narcissism like wanting a kid a hundred years from now to know your name, but its about wanting the people you care about to know how much of an impact they had on you. Because if you truly love someone, you want them to know how much that meant to you. You want them to know how much you loved them back. To leave someplace no one remember, means what you did and that time you spent with them was wasted. Life's too short to waste time. It kills me not to know if they remember me sometimes. I'll be on FB and I'll look at the pictures they put up and all I want to say is I should be there. I think I am starting to go through the pain of leaving. When we left Jonesboro I was just starting to go through the pain of leaving Tuckerman. I don't know what to write. Right now it feels like, I guess, I'm growing up. :/ Ugh, Peter Pan where are you??? Haha. Thanks Hopie :)

KCCT

What does that even stand for KCCT? I find the testing a little ridiculous. Do we really need ANOTHER test to tell us how dumb/smart we are? At least there are some advantages to testing week. After testing we watched part of SWING KIDS and now in study hall we are watching TOY STORY. I can't wait till the 3rd comes out. Eli was talking about the fact that in the theater there are probably going to be just as many if not more older kids there then younger kids. Disney has always been able to make really good movies. I hope that never changes.

Good-byes

I hate saying good bye. What does that even mean "good bye"? It sounds like you are saying "good... now leave". Eli left back for Louisville. He had a week off and now he goes back to an internship. Its his last one. Hope's birthday was yesterday. Everyone is getting so old! Eli is 21 now, Hope is 19. I was talking to my mom about how we are no longer a "young" family. I remember going to other people's houses and they talked about their children in college and I thought that was so weird, but now that's us. Next year is my final year here. That just sounds so bizarre. I miss not having them around. I really get in their faces when they are home, but when they leave it seems so empty. I think dad is really missing them. Last Sunday Eli and I were sitting in a pew and dad came up to us and asked where Hope was and she had went back to Bowling Green already and it was completely strange. I think everything is starting to hit him. Everything is changing.