My attempt to wear my heart on my sleave.

The other night we Hope and I were coming home from hanging out with some friends. I don't know how to begin. You could tell that the people we hung out with have been friends sense they were little kids. They were talking about their siblings and crazy things they have done to each other. To say the very least it hurts. It hurts every time I am around that. That sounds so selfish. I guess its because we have never had that. Our family has had to say good-bye to the people we love too early. We have had to say good-bye to friends and there is only the smallest chance we will ever see them again. I think what hurts the most is not knowing if they care. When I told my friends I was moving, there didn't seem to be a reaction. That killed me. That was the place that I was born in one way (Dec. 9, 2004) and I grew up in almost every way. I guess I kind of felt stabbed in the back. I told Hope I don't know why I care so much if they remember me. She talked to me and this is what I learned: A person needs to know they made an impact. Its not about narcissism like wanting a kid a hundred years from now to know your name, but its about wanting the people you care about to know how much of an impact they had on you. Because if you truly love someone, you want them to know how much that meant to you. You want them to know how much you loved them back. To leave someplace no one remember, means what you did and that time you spent with them was wasted. Life's too short to waste time. It kills me not to know if they remember me sometimes. I'll be on FB and I'll look at the pictures they put up and all I want to say is I should be there. I think I am starting to go through the pain of leaving. When we left Jonesboro I was just starting to go through the pain of leaving Tuckerman. I don't know what to write. Right now it feels like, I guess, I'm growing up. :/ Ugh, Peter Pan where are you??? Haha. Thanks Hopie :)